I'm heading out to the Holy Cross Abbey in Berryville, VA for a weekend retreat. Yes, even nearly perfect people like Scoop have minor spiritual flaws worthy of a prayer or three. Check out the spot: www.hcava.org
This time, my darling niece, Lisa, and a great friend, Rosa, will be accompanying me. At some point, you might want to give this a try yourself.
Some retreats are structured so they'll have little discussion groups and koom-buy-a (-5 spelling) gatherings. When you go on retreat at this abbey you maintain silence for nearly the entire period. Have you stopped laughing yet? I am serious about that. Don't make a fool of yourself. Get up off the floor and pull yourself together. Someone may be watching you. Yes, I have actually made it through many of these weekends and have been doing this for the last 15 years. It is a wonderfully nourishing experience to center yourself; to be out of the ring of a land line or cell phone and to be digitally liberated.
The first time I went on retreat at Holy Cross I wondered if, considering the 60s, 70s, 80s, and hell the 90s and the "naughts" for that matter, if I could possibly make it through the eye of the needle, let alone into the kingdom of Heaven. It was really quite a burden at that time. Like most folks, I asked for a sign from God. None arrived and I thought perhaps that I would never receive a nod. On Sunday I attended mass before leaving for home.
As I stood and turned the pew corner for communion, what to my wondering eye should appear walking up the aisle next to me? OLIVER"FREAKIN" NORTH. OLIVER! NORTH! A rush came over me along with a wave of enlightenment. If this guy was forgiven, then I was home free!!!! Just how great is that? The most ultimate "get out of jail free" card ever.
So, my friends, I am going to perform my semi-annual maintenance ensuring that vision of Mr. North and God's effort to send him to me that day, doesn't go to waste.
In closing, please join me for a prayer yourself. Rattle those beads your Aunt Myrtle gave you for your Confirmation or you won for selling Christmas seals. Get that Catholic (or any other flavor) mantra going for the intentions of the STEELERS AND THEIR QUEST FOR A SUPERBOWL RING FOR THE OTHER THUMB!!! GO FOR NUMBER SIX!!!!
BLACK AND GOLD, FOLKS....LET'S KEEP MY SWEET LITTLE TROY #43 SMILING ON MONDAY....
After all, folks, these guys are the only people on the planet who look great in gold pants...they have to win.
HOW ABOUT THE YOUNGEST COACH EVER TO WIN THE XXXXXXXLLLLLVVVIIIISUPERBOWL IS OUR MIRACLE MAN HIMSELF, MIKE TOMLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mike and the guys are going to give the Rooney's another trophy for the 75th anniversary of the team. I LOVE IT.
Wave that terrible towel and cheer so Myron Cope can hear you, yinz.
See you next week.
And so it goes. Scoop