Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A New Chapter to "The Book of Ruth Madoff"

Please join me in thanking Ruth Madoff for sharing her personal correspondence with her husband, Bernie, during this new phase of their lives apart. Ruth and Bernie are cc'ing me on selected emails and, in turn, I feel compelled to pass this fascinating insight along.
from: Your Honey Bunny
to: Scoop Murphy
date: March 25, 20009
subject: Where is the Visa?
Images from this sender are always displayed
Hi Cuddles,
How are things going? I heard you were upgraded to private accommodations. It is about time they realized who you are!That might make it difficult for you to make more new acquaintences beyond your new friends Spike and Macho-Man. I've been busy going to the Russian Tea Room and crying my eyes out. Thank God Saks was able to overnight that new waterproof mascara to me or I wouldn't have been able to look people in the eye.
Speaking of going out, for the life of me I can't get any of our credit cards to work. Did you take the Platinum Visa with you? I'm considering taking it and some of those gold bullion bars and heading to Brazil for a little touch up. This past while has left me a little drawn, so I thought that might perk me up a little.
Now, Bernie, I know that judge said you need to be away for 159 years. Maybe I can send him a fruit basket and his wife the new Lincoln Center tickets to reduce your time a little. For that matter, why don't I just sign over the papers for one of those grocery stores we bought last spring and the actual Lincoln Center itself. That should turn things around, Snookims. People like us deserve better things and you certainly should be here with me enjoying them.
Well, my love, I need to go so I won't be late for my facial and Swedish massage. Sven likes me to be there early so I can relax so I'm not that tense. It is a little extra, but I'm worth it.
Before I go, remind the housekeeper that you prefer just a touch of starch in your collars and to volunteer to teach those money management workshops to your new friends.
Love and kisses, Your Honey Bunny

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