Saturday, October 4, 2008

3 MORE REASONS TO CELEBRATE? You Bet'cha

NUMBER ONE
Ms. "Fancy Jayne" (Fancy 'cas she uses a "y" in her name) treated me to the most fabulous experience as a birthday gift. We attended the opening performance of the Alexandria Symphony Orchestra. http://www.alexsym.org/
It was lovely. Mixing and mingling with the local luminaries, a fantastic "Fantasia" of Greensleeves. Brahms. Dancing by the Bowen-McCauley Dance Company. It was a visual and audio feast. Thank you so very much, FJ.

NUMBER TWO
We started the evening by meeting at one of my favorite places, Chez Andree Restaurant, for cocktails. Does that just sound civilized? (http://www.chezandree.com/)
In case you are wondering, yes that is a caricature of me on the wall of when I danced at the Moulin Rouge.










NUMBER THREE (drum roll, please....)

ORENTHAL JAMES FINALLY QUALIFIES FOR A STRIPED SUNTAN!

Here is the shell of yesterday's hero having his newest jewelry bracelet tailored AT LAST! What a relief for him. Now, when he wakes up in his prison cell he won't have to walk far for any of his personal plumbing needs. No more of that crossing a large carpeted room or long mansion hallway for him. You bet'cha! Clark County, Nevada has outfitted him with his personal sink, toilet, and shiny aluminum faux mirror all conveniently a few feet away from his bunk bed.

Since he'll need a new cash influx to pay for his next legal maneuver maybe he can have those same sports memorabilia dealers he just had his thugs wack in the head sell his pants belt for him on Ebay? He won't be using it in prison. No sir-ee-bob! He can let his pants droop and play peak-a-boo ladies with his underwear like all the other criminals.

Another hidden bonus for him will be when he realizes he won't have wear out any more golf clubs searching for the real killer of his wife and Ron Goldman. That murderer will be neatly framed right there in his own glistening metal mirror. He'll be solving that crime quickly as he is no stranger to viewing his own reflection.

Simpson's first marriage ended in separation and divorce. In 1979, a year after his separation, Simpson's first child of his prior marriage drowned in the Rockingham mansion pool. Please don't hate me for this, but I wonder if this death was ever fully investigated. Maybe this is something for consideration. Some people will do anything for money including: beating, murdering, taking police on a day long exercise of "follow the beater" driving a white Bronco, kidnapping, and robbing.

Shortly after the tragic loss of his child, while still married to his blushing bride, he met a 17 year old waitress named Nicole. After a call to Lawyers-R-Us and he was liberated from wife number 1. Months later, Nicole and OJ were married. He had to move wife one out and wife two in. Thank god he has broad shoulders. All that moving can cause discomfort.

It is unfortunate that this sterling behavior model for today's pimps and meth lab operators will be off the market for a while. The world will be a duller place for it. Certainly Las Vegas will dim its lights in recognition of his contributions there.

Did I ever tell you that I was in O'Hare Airport THE SAME DAY AND THE SAME TIME as when O.J. was leaping over luggage sprinting toward the best place to "accidentally on purpose" lose that knife of his before heading back to his Rockbridge Estates. This poor guy just can't catch a break. And to think he made me laugh out loud with Leslie Neilsen in the 'NAKED GUN' movie.
Let's just all rattle those rosary beads a few times to make sure he doesn't drive another rental car for the balance of his life.

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