Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Weak End At Bernie's

Permit me to set the stage for the challenge of the week:

1. You have $65 BILLION dollars
2. You are NOT Dr. Evil
3. Try spending it sometime in the next lifetime

For the absolute life of me, I can not fathom what the hell Bernie Madoff bought with this money that it isn't around to reimburse these poor investors.

Some of it had to have been circulated back, to a degree, just to make things look legitimate.
Some of it has to be in a secret bank account in Switzerland or buried along with the secrets of the Founding Fathers in the "National Treasure" movie. Some of it is tucked away in a fabric container with the word "posture-pedic" on the label. Certainly Bernie had engraved gold collar stays. Surely his wife, who has sullied the name Ruth, has a diamond encrusted denture dish. After that, where did they spend all that money?

Following his home study course on Ponzi schemes (http://www.sec.gov/answers/ponzi.htm
one might think Mr. Jagoff may have realized that they implode after a certain amount of time. Perhaps he thought the Security and Exchange Commission was perpetually asleep at the wheel?

Who knows. Spinning plates is a challenge. Anyone who ever watched Ed Sullivan knows that. As a friend of mine told me years ago, it is always fine to juggle many things as long as you are clear about which ones are glass and which ones are rubber. Good old Bernie could have used some help here. All that double bookkeeping and deception is hard work!

25 victims were in court to watch him swirl down the drain. They paid incredible amounts of money only to have the thrill of cussing him out in a U.S. court of law.
Talk about brass monkeys: During the hearing, Bernie and Ruth asked if they could keep $69 million dollars that rightfully belonged to them. Let me think, did they get that money from saving on their insurance with Geico? Let's not forget that Mr. and Mrs. Jagoff would win any "6 Degrees of Separation" contest too. After all, he swindled Kevin Bacon himself, as well as my idol, ZsaZsa Gabor.

Seriously, let's get back to the original question: how the hell does anyone spend that much money? I'm a reasonable person, I'd have a tough time with spending $32 Billion. That is one hell of a lot of fur trimmed toasters, gold trimmed bird feeders, and lunches with the ladies.

Money units of measure starting with a big B. (For those of you who are visual learners, it looks something like this: $65,000,000,000) A capital B...not an M, but a B. BILLION.
B-I-L-L-I-O-N-S of dollars and none of them really belonged to the thief. This is mind boggling. How many cars, condos, and country homes do you think he has inventoried?

All I know about life is that I'm not too sure I know much about how it all works. There are talented people who decide to live like a billionaire for 20 years, only to publicly disgrace themselves and live the last years of their life needing SPF15 lotion for their stripes. Along the way, somewhere in the middle, they decide to use a rusty soup ladle to carve the life's savings of enough people to fill the Manhattan residential phone book. There are elderly people who can no longer afford medical care because of this scum. Many people will definitely be extending their retirement dates into the next millennium courtesy of Mr. Smackoff. Certainly, many,
if not all, have lost their trust in financial entities like his when there are honest and ethical people out there getting it handled the right way.

If he stole your money and you were able to watch this bottom-feeder being cuffed and led away from the court room, what epitaph could you scream at him to alleviate your anxiety?

The only comfort is that his release from "Club Fed" isn't scheduled until 2159. By that time this depression-recession will be over.

And so it goes....Scoop


6 comments:

  1. You are so right!!! How in the world could anyone spend all that money or not be able to account for it!! It beats me as well and all those people that trusted him and lose so much will have nothing but their words to help make them feel better even if he goes to prison or Club Fed!!!

    You wrote a terrific article and one I truly believe in.

    How is everything with you and what have you been up to besides your wonderful blog????

    Hugs,
    Tuck

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  2. excellent ruth

    tony navarro

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  3. Mr. Jagoff. Classic! I'm surprised someone didn't shoot him. I pray they will find a lot of that money and be able to disburse it. I'll bet you are right, that it is in Switzerland. The entire family could, and probably should, end up in jail.
    KS

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  4. Ruthie..you are a hoot!! and you are sooooo correct. Why are you not running for political office?? I know you are a good, I mean great, teacher..but come on now...you could change the world!!
    Even though I can spend a few pesos..I am sure that I would even have some money left over if I had that much...and after reading what he did buy..it seemed he just had to spend spend spend. A diamnond encrusted denture holder..come on now!!
    It just goes to show you that ..you just can't trust anyone and you have to make sure that you check on it..check on it..check on it! Don't give someone complete control...
    RB please consider running for at least... President!
    LOVE FROM THE LAKE..KK

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  5. Ruthie..you are a hoot!! and you are sooooo correct. Why are you not running for political office?? I know you are a good, I mean great, teacher..but come on now...you could change the world!!
    Even though I can spend a few pesos..I am sure that I would even have some money left over if I had that much...and after reading what he did buy..it seemed he just had to spend spend spend. A diamnond encrusted denture holder..come on now!!
    It just goes to show you that ..you just can't trust anyone and you have to make sure that you check on it..check on it..check on it! Don't give someone complete control...
    RB please consider running for at least... President!
    LOVE FROM THE LAKE..KK

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Ruth,

    Happy St. Patricks Day to our favorite (only) passionately Irish neighbor.

    Best,
    Perry and Megan

    ReplyDelete