Wednesday, September 23, 2009


First, a word from our sponsor:
This segment brought to you by the new blog link:
"This Is Why You Are Fat"
It is the cousin to "Awkward Family Moments" Check it out, but you may want to take your Pepto with you. (The link is on the left column of this blog.)

And now, our lead story:

Please know I sit in the back pew of St. Oprah of the TV Wasteland; however, she has a powerhouse menu of CHEAP ways to give listed on her web site. Donating $5.00 gives a mid-wife kit; $10 offers psychological counseling; $7.00 dispenses a text book; a $10 microloan helps someone start a business.  Check it out on

For All Women Registry

There is a new book her show is highlighting called "Half The Sky" by Nicklaus Kristof and it is all about ways people can reach out to others. I'll never buy it; but, the concept intrigues me tremendously.  Most people won't make a charitable donation unless it gooses the likelihood of an increased tax refund. Some will do it because, well, that is just what they do. This book is designed for those who usually don't. It maps out "how to" in the vernacular of the cheapskate in the hopes that even they will sign on the dotted line. 

I'd like thinking I'm not a cheapskate; but, I am no high-roller donor either, although I'd apply to whomever is hiring for that position.  Oprah's web site does offer a segment called "microloans" that has caught my eye. Well, maybe both eyes, to be honest. 

What is a microloan? For the legal explanation:
Providing food for the recipient family, it is the "gift that keeps on giving."  It is also the gift that creates a product for them to sell.  I love it because it follows the old "teach a man to fish" adage I've always supported over the "give a man a fish" routine. Since I also believe that "if you can work and need to work, then you should work this fits right. Quite handily, these are the very tools addressing that very subject. Each recipient of a microloan like this agrees to support another neighbor in need by passing on offspring of the original gift. That means your gift becomes the catalyst for a community to lift themselves out of poverty and hunger. Such a deal, bubala!

One I like is incredibly affordable. For $20.00 I'm shipping a "flock" of chicks, which is 10-50 of those feathery cuties to a person in need of a flock of chicks. What an absolute coincidence!  Okay, so I won't be the one licking the envelope with those fluffy things inside; but, a farmer somewhere will do the deed.  

Have too many of the chachkees (-5 spelling) catching dust? Birthday on the horizon? Ask for one of these loans to be donated in your name. It is God's grace we're passing on with actions like this, folks. It is really a no-brainer.  $20??? Are you really going to miss that once or twice a year?  

Dig shallow and sponsor one of these tickets to a full belly and some economic freedom. If you are feeling generous, donate it in my name. If you do, I'll return the favor.  Think it over, folks. It really doesn't take that much to be a hero. Warning: it can be infectious.

                                           And now, the local news......

My niece, Lisa, the Hand Model.  I always knew she'd make it big in the digital field.  Give her a HI-5, for sure. Since she has those manual topics uncovered, I see a pedicure in my future in the hopes of foothold on equal opportunity.

Okay, Will.  From the looks of things, Belle appears ready to call in the authorities. Her cell phone display shows her dialing 1-800-SIR-MIXALOT

Who wants to fall on their backsides? Not too many people I know. But, really Will. I think your Mom wants her sofa back in the living room and liberated from your drawers.  It is either that or your bed is looking for its mattress.
Question: If you do fall, how far up are you going to bounce?
Just wondering. Can I get a what-what?
I've been where you are sweetie AND I took a photo of the sign.

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